goodbye, chiang mai

for me, goodbyes are always anti-climactic in a way and sometimes a little awkward. how do you sum up a year's worth of experiences in a short conversation, make sure that the other person got to say nice things (and then coming in to make sure it's not soo awkward), and then saying nice things yourself without sounding like a complete doofus, etc. sometimes i feel that it's too bad that people, including myself, don't always feel comfortable receiving praise or having nice things said about you by people you really care about. my response is usually smiling and saying 'thank you' but sometimes i wonder if i look/sound totally sincere (even though i am). it's different when you're standing up on some stage somewhere receiving an award, or whatever. i dunno why.

so goodbyes generally engender such nice (yet awkward) conversations. i've had a couple of these over my past week in chiang mai, but am past the awkwardness of it all and actually really appreciated the honesty, sincerity, and opportunity to also say thank you to people who've made a difference in my life over the past year. some snapshots of goodbyes:

kae's birthday/goodbye, tanya - i've had three really good friends from the MA study this year (ying, kae, and aum). aum moved to bangkok about a month ago to start working as a nurse at bangkok hospital, so i'll see her when i go down over the next few days.

kae and ying weren't going to be in chiang mai at the same time (kae had just come back from a job interview in bangkok, and ying was going on thursday night), so we planned to eat suki (hotpot) wednesday night. other ma people couldnt make it, so it was a small group - me, ben, noom, ying, and kae. as soon as we finished, it started thunderstorming like crazy outside, so we hung out for a little while waiting for the rain to let up.

following suki, noom decided he really wanted to sing karaoke. ying, on the other hand, wanted to go to a bar and drink because she was nervous about her upcoming interviews/tests in bangkok. we ended up going to karaoke and having a really good time. noom is actually super into it, so it was good to have a boy voice. later on in the night, gig joined us. we danced, drank, and sang until midnight, and i was surprised at how many thai songs i knew.

i'd kinda forgotten that this was my goodbye to ying, which i said to her hanging out of gig's car in the parking lot of the karaoke place. ying was super nice and i'll definitely miss her - she's a true character and we had a lot to bond about over the past year.

i'll also miss kae. she is hardworking and her heart is always in the right place. last night, she accompanied me to wualai walking street (much smaller than the sunday craziness in the old city) and helped me pick up some silver bracelets (i couldn't leave chiang mai without some silver!), a shawl/scarf for the strapless dress im (hopefully) wearing to graduation, and some souvenirs/gifts. we had fun talking to this 65 y/o grandma at one of the silver shops, who thought it was super cool that i could speak thai even though i grew up in the US (and that i cared about thailand at all). after walking street, we joined maddie at 8 inch, and stuffed ourselves with pizza and pasta. yum!

poo and p'nui - thursday was my last day at ID clinic this year, and it wasn't as crazy as i thought it might be. i saw some interesting cases of hardcore lymphadenopathy (Burkholderia psuedomallei, or meloidosis, toxoplasmosis, and histoplasmosis in two different patients) and lots of HIV/hepatitis B and/or C co-infected patients. i also got to have short conversation with Aj. Thira about my future plans (medicine, ID and maybe psych...he was like, what??, lol) and took one picture of clinic before two nurses who didn't know me went kinda crazy on me. (i said poo said it was ok). afterwards, i went to lunch at black canyon with poo, p'nui, and p'nui's co-worker. i got to talk to poo for a long time when p'nui and his friend went off to run errands and she apologized for not being around for the latter half of the year, but i was totally like, dude, that's not your responsibility ( to be taking care of me) when you're working full time (x2), trying to do research for your thesis, and on call to save $$ for her wedding. she was really sweet anyway though and said that i was an inspiration to her and thought i carried myself like a grown-up and had grown-up kinds of thoughts. this may sound funny to you as you read it, but it was really nice (in thai), and i probably am not translating it in the best way.

on friday night, poo and p'nui took ben and i to a popular restaurant ('the good view'), on the river ping. we had a smorgasbord of thai food, including som tum (green papaya salad), pla neung manao (fish steamed with lime), tod mun goong (fried shrimp cakes), tom yum talay (seafood spicy/sour soup), chicken wrapped in banana leaves, and crab fried rice. to top it off, we had mangos and sticky rice for dessert (it's mango season!) we also enjoyed the live music and drank some singha beer (poo didn't because she was post-call). after i got home, poo talked to me on googlechat for awhile and said that i was one of her best friends and that she (and another doc) thought i was 'born to be an infectious diseases doctor'. im not sure if she said what she meant to in english, but either way, it was pretty cool. i hope i see her and p'nui at the airport today!

lara - i met up with lara and family at khun chuen, a local vegetarian restaurant and (all-you-can-eat lunch buffet) yesterday. we were all a little exhausted from the heat, but raksi got to play bingo with his parents and we made our way through the yumminess of the buffet. i also drank two glasses of iced bael tea and felt refreshed. rung was really tired so i didn't get to talk to him much, but he said that chris and i should come in for a live portrait the next time we were back in chiang mai since pictures didn't capture the true feeling/spirit of a person (and were two-dimensional). yet another excuse to come back :)

lara and i talked a little bit about work/the year/the future at lunch and then i accompanied her to her friend's house to pick up raksin's soul brother for a movie. lara had originally convinced me to go watch smith family robinson with them (i think it's a take on swiss family robinson and a cartoon? i have no idea) but after we hung out for awhile at her friend's house, i was like, maybe i should go home (and seriously pack). we said our goodbyes in her car in front of chiang mai rama hospital, and she thanked me for my support and friendship over the past year. i think it's really gratifying when you can do something to help those you care about around you, like giving advice on how to treat Enterobius (for all your medical nerds out there), which Raksin was telling me (in detail) about. He had some pretty awesome theories about the pathogenesis and stuff as well, including two of my faves:

"The worms are having a party in my butt!"
"The medicine isn't working because the worms are babies and too small for the medicine to see. Second theory: Medicine isn't working because the worms are at war and shooting cannons at it!"

Kids should help write medical textbooks. How awesome would that be? Maybe I could stay awake for more than half an hour and actually concentrate on it. ;)

as an MD2B, i've really had some awesome (and often intense) opportunities and experiences to help both patients and friends with health-related issues this year. i want to thank everyone who trusted me enough to let me participate in their process of getting (or staying) well, in whatever way that 'well' was defined. thank you for letting me into your lives and for helping me learn more about myself - and how i would like to practice medicine - in the future.